Episode 12: How can I get past the ‘I Can’t’ attitude with Donna Campisi

On this episode I talk about how to get past the ‘I can’t’ attitude when being challenged to reaching our goal,

All too often the words ‘I can’t’ can easily fall out of our mouths. If said too often, it can become an embedded belief that will never get you to that big goal you dream about.

When you take this belief out of your mind, then you gain confidence and the courage to achieve.

If we keep saying, ‘I can’t’, we actually tend to believe it after a while and the people around us do too; they’re not going to expect big things out of you, and neither are you!

Instead, we can create a habit to ask ourselves, ‘How can I?’

Have you ever noticed when someone asks you, ‘Can you do this?’ You’re either going to say yes or no. It’s just a one-word answer, isn’t it?

What if someone asked, ‘How can you?’ These words are great! It’s an interesting question to ask, because it actually makes you think instead of just saying yes or no. It’s easy to say no and it’s easy to make excuses – but, ‘How can I? How can I do this? How can I do that? How can I achieve my big scary goal?’ This is what it’s all about.

If there’s a big goal that you’ve been dreaming about and you’ve been either too scared or allowed someone to put it in your mind that it’s crazy, I understand. I’ve been there.

Through my experiences and what I have achieved, I’ll share my insights, not just from what I’ve achieved, but also from struggles and tough times that I’ve had as well. It hasn’t all been sunshine and lollipops, as they say.

Here, we’re going to learn new things about ourselves. When asking yourself, ‘Can I? Is it possible?’ a lot of people make excuses. Often, it’s either time or money stopping people achieving their big goals.

Sound familiar? I’ve had those reasons too, believe me. But then I stopped to think, ‘Okay, surely I can find another way. How can I possibly afford to do this? How can I find the time to do this?’

Two great questions. To find a solution, you need to think outside the box.

The thing is, if you ask yourself ‘can I’ instead of ‘how can I’, you’re always going to dream; you’ll never achieve that big goal and live with regret until the day you die.

We don’t want this to happen. I really want to help you by sharing my experiences, insights and steps for you to achieve your big, scary goal.

Moving past the ‘I can’t,’ is an important mind shift to achieving your goal. Believing you can is the first step when beginning the Baby Step Method to achieve your goals.

This is evident with many of our goals – some may seem like a crazy idea at first. But fixing in our mind that nothing could stop me from doing this, is the mindset we want, how much do you really want this?

We can all easily come up with so many excuses, we’re experts at that! But do you want to be that person?

‘Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.’ – Henry Ford

Focusing on your goal and not allowing other things to get in your way is a major path to success. But things in life will get in your way – that’s just life.

We can come up with plenty of reasons to say, ‘This it’s all too hard, I can’t possibly do this.’

But also you could ask, ‘What if I fall, what if I trip up?’ That’s part of the journey. It’s okay to stumble. Just get back up again.

I’ve stumbled plenty of times, literally and mentally, but it’s okay.

People stumble and then say, ‘It’s too hard,’ and don’t bother picking themselves up again. That’s where I find there’s a real loss of potential – a loss of achieving something that could have been huge, something great, that would have made that person into who they want to be, instead of holding this great dream in their mind that they don’t think they could ever achieve.

It’s also very common for people to question themselves with, ‘What will other people say? What if they laugh or doubt my decision?’ I could tell you a number of stories of people laughing, calling me crazy, doubting me; even if just out of concern. There is always going to be those people…but we’ve got to try to ignore those people around us.

Sometimes it’s people around us who you feel you can’t ignore. But it’s about the importance of the people you surround yourself with. This is very important when reaching big goals, so stick with me and stay on track.

Believing you can is the first important step. This was an important lesson I learned when going through rehabilitation after surviving my stroke, at seven years of age. I had an awesome physio therapist, who was as just as stubborn as me, who said these words…when I was going through tough times learning to walk again, actually this was when I was trying to crawl again, I’ve held these words close to my heart ever since…and I’ll share them with you, with the intent of helping you in tough times. She said, ‘Donna, there’s no such thing as can’t…’

 ‘It’s the things you fight for and struggle with before earning that have the greatest worth. When something’s difficult to come by, you’ll do that much more to make sure it’s even harder – or impossible – to lose.’ – Sarah Dessen

There are times where things seem so difficult and impossible to do. But when we really want to do it, why let limiting beliefs get in our way? There is a way, if we think about it more! We just need to open up to the idea of possibilities, where we may even have to ask for help.

Asking for help is not giving up or showing a weakness, as people think. Asking for help is opening up doors to other options or opportunities that you hadn’t even thought about at the time, on your own.

A fresh approach can offer help, a chance to view the issue as a challenge with a solution from an angle that we haven’t yet seen or thought about.

So, asking for help is smart and resourceful. It is a solution to help you get positive results against the words and idea of ‘I can’t’.

Those words I will never forget: ‘There’s no such thing as can’t.’ They were tough words to hear as a seven year old, struggling to crawl, but I am so glad my physiotherapist said them to me. I’ve reflected on that statement often, when I have been through tough times. So yes, I have had a few hurdles to jump over in my life…as many people do, but these words have made me stronger…and I hope they help you too.

Initially when you face a challenge, you need to decide, ‘Can I? How can I?’ But the thing is, after conquering ‘I can’t’, you need to maintain focus.

Believing you can, is the most important step of all. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help or even stumble. Pick yourself up and do not be too proud to ask for help – people are always willing. And I find when people ask me now for advice and help, physically or mentally, I really love helping people – that’s why I do what I do, as a speaker, author, adventurer and as a podcaster.

You’ll find also, whatever goal you have, if you approach the ‘go-to person’ – the person who’s already done it, who’s experienced this same challenge, who you look up to – they generally love getting that acknowledgement. To start with, you are interested in what they’re doing, what they’ve done and how they’ve inspired you.

They may even think of you as, ‘Hey, this person’s cool, I love that they’ve got this challenge, of course I want to help.’

So please, accept help when you see it, but also go out and seek it. Seek help if you find that you’ve got a block; this is not the time to stop.

Making the decision can be the scariest thing, but like with all big scary goals, once you make the decision, that’s when things happened.

So, I really advise you to focus on what you can do to reach your goals. This is where you focus on each baby step (I’ll leave a link to help you get started on a plan) it’s a free download to get you focused on each baby step, to reach your goal. You’ll see how to do this for yourself, which is really exciting, because that’s what this is about – for you to achieve your own big goal.

These steps lead you closer to your big goal. This is why I really believe in the Baby Step Method to focus on the next baby step, rather than always focusing on the huge, big goal that looks really scary and too far away to reach. It’s easy to give up when something gets in the way of the ‘big goal’ and it seems a little bit too hard – then this can become a habit, which in the long run doesn’t get you anywhere.

I advise you to focus on each baby step, one at a time, but still having a clear picture of your end goal. It’s important to have your mind set on that final goal, but as I said before, focus on one step at a time – this will definitely get you to your big goal, your big finish line.

You can also find more about conquering your goals at TheUnlikelyMarathoner.com

The link to help you get started on your goal plan is at https://donnacampisi.com/the-baby-step-method/

Feel free to share this podcast with someone who needs to get past the ‘I can’t’ attitude.

The Power is in Me…it’s in You too!

Get to it…. Ready! Set! Goal!

To book Donna to speak at your next event, contact her at: https://donnacampisi.com/contact/

Listen to more ‘Ready! Set! Goal! with Donna Campisi’ podcast at: https://donnacampisi.com/ready-set-goal/

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